Relate to Others

 If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. ~Nelson Mandela

Nearing the conclusion of almost 30 years behind bars, Nelson Mandela began to long for a hotplate. He was being fed, and compared to other prisoners – quite well. That said, his jailers rationed too much for lunch and not enough for supper. He had created a solution for himself in saving some of the extra from lunch to have with his dinner – but alas, he had no way to heat it up.

Unfortunately, the guard in charge of the Mandela’s maximum security wing at Pollsmoor prison was none too keen to speak in English and furthermore was not a fan of the black political prisoners. Similar to many Afrikaner men, this guard, LOVED rugby – a sport Mandela had never really been fond of himself. Mandela began reading all he could about the sport that had divided South Africa, in a way, for many years. One day, Mandela came face to face with the guard in a jail hallway. He instantly spurred into a comprehensive discussion, in Afrikaans, I might add, about the various player positions and some recent games. The previously abrasive guard was so enchanted by Mandela that, before long, he was shouting at his minions to “go and get Mandela a hotplate!”

We waste so much time speaking how we think the other person should hear it, rather than thinking about what the best way to the message will be received – saying it in a way that you will only need to explain it once. Tailoring it to each and every person. 

Here's today's homework - think about how you can speak to others in their language today and tomorrow - I want you to try it. Reflect on how outcomes differ from what you've seen in the past and please keep me updated!